Disgruntled Ninja’s Letters to the Editor – Soozanna
Dear Apple,
I spent a lot of money on my iPod years ago when the Video iPod was the newest thing and it cost nearly $500 (almost 400 euros). Now that the sound isn’t functioning on it, I am not sure the 10% discount you offered (or the replacement unit for $170) are really very interesting options.
Sincerely,
Dissatisfied Ninja
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The House of Sooz
So the House of Blues was groovy and not in a psychedelic way, rather in a high stage, big audience kind of way.
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How can something that looks like a cow have the instincts of a killer?
He looks so innocent, sitting there, purring. How could he possibly be evil? Every night when you come home he sits on your lap and presses his paws up against your neck, stretching out and sharing his relaxation. As if to say, “Glad you’re home. My day was super, tell me about yours.”
I am at a loss for blog topics
So I sat at my computer staring at the screen for entirely too long without being able to think of a blog topic. I thought about writing about food; I guess I’m hungry. I thought about writing about corn mazes in Pennsylvania, also inadvertently about food. I finally decided to write about song topics instead, which are almost all, coincidentally, about food. So here they are:
Pyrotechnics with the Random Ninjas!
So if any of you were at the show on Friday, you may remember the boom and flying sparks shortly before RN took the stage. I did it. All me. I was plugging in my wireless box for my Audix and boom! It burnt the plug. We had our very own pyrotechnics! Does having your own pyrotechnics, whether intentional or not, mean you’re big time?
I am still recovering from my “near death experience” by sorting through old photos to see which one makes my hair look the most electrocuted. I found the one above. The electrocuted hair look was in when that photo was taken….well that and perms. Will the electrocuted hair look come back in like legwarmers and spandex or is that a trend better left untouched?
Thanks to everyone for coming out to our very first RN pyrotechnics show and my first “Bedtime Stories with Snoozanna” show. While I have performed piano solos at other RN shows, this was the first spoken word extravaganza and I very much appreciate your support.
And thanks especially to those who donated for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! Every penny helps!
- Sooz
Happy Groundhog Day!
Happy Groundhog Day!
Punxsatawney Phil did not see his shadow today, so people in parts of the country who actually experience winter have to suffer through a few more weeks. Apparently this winter has been especially brutal. My east coasts roots (i.e. parents and siblings) report the weather to me every time I talk to them, and I always snicker when I tell them what the temperature is in Southern California. In Florida they even had frost this winter!? In Cologne, Germany, they’ve had snowy weather for a few weeks which is unheard of in the Rhine valley. Normally if it even snows there, it melts within 5 hours.
So everyone is buried in snow or freezing and in Southern California it’s 61 degrees Fahrenheit, which sadly enough is cold enough that I get out my sweater and scarf. I guess I’ve assimilated?
In honor of Groundhog Day, I am hoping to record a side project this week called Die Schwester, aptly titled in German to reflect that the side project will include me and my sister. As my sister sings and plays a bazillion instruments, we’re going to record some catchy covers utilizing piano, drums, saxophone, flute and/or oboe and my personal favorite: the accordion. The accordion is about as underestimated as Punxsatawney Phil and equally capable of influencing season changes, blockbuster movies and small towns in Pennsylvania!
Kind Regards,
Soo
Leberwurst!
Shocking: Getting in a plane with 60-70 degree weather, getting off the plane in 5 degree weather including snow and wind. I got to Berlin a week and a half ago, freezing, not prepared for 5 degrees Fahrenheit. I had to double up my socks, wear multiple sweaters and my toes were still freezing through the grossly inappropriate Converse (Converse = not made for Berlin weather).
Berlin was cool though. I spent most of the time in coffee shops, saw a Thomas Demand exhibit at Das Neue Nationalgalerie and ate at some cool restaurants mostly in Kreuzberg.
By the time we got to Schwerin, it was warmer, but we still had a white Christmas. We did some touristy type stuff in Schwerin – we visited the art gallery there and had a private tour of the Schweriner Schloss (Schwerin Castle). I played a lot of mahjong and ate Leberwurst, Teewurst and cheese non-stop.
Now I’m in Kölle seeing lots of old friends. A lot has changed. There are new stores everywhere, lots of American chains have invaded, everything seems to be under construction. One thing is for sure, it rains NON-STOP and I miss palm trees and sunshine. Another four days!
- Soozanna
Food Semiotics for the Greatest American Holiday
Green bean casserole is representative of the evolution of the United States. Like a gigantic melting pot of different cultures all mixed into one yummy dish that just works.
Ham is picnics on school trips to museums.
Turkey is not Armenia.
Stuffing is as satisfying as listening to the Drifters while sitting on a porch swing.
Mashed Potatoes might make you win the lottery.
Candied Yams are Sundays after 60 Minutes before Murder She Wrote started.
Baked Corn is yuck.
Pumpkin Pie is the point between the fall and the winter when the leaves have just finished falling and the trees are bare and cold.
Top it with some whipped cream and maybe it’ll snow.
P.S. On an unrelated note – A gigantic raw turkey makes me think of small children and makes me consider becoming a vegetarian again.
- Soozanna
Lonely potato (at the bottom of a sack of potatoes trying not to get eaten) A poem by Soozanna
Lonely potato (at the bottom of a sack of potatoes trying not to get
eaten)
A poem by Soozanna
All I want to do is sprout
I don’t want to pout
Only to be served with kraut
I just want to get out
I was at the bottom of the sack
Every day fighting attack
All the others in the pack
Just keep to the back
Spud boy I am to Devo
Thinking of days long ago
Then dug up by a hoe
If only I could go back, now I know
If I sprout they’ll throw me away
Leave me in the trash to decay
But then I can sprout, sprout I may
Oh, I hope for the day
I’m working on some new ideas for song topics and here’s the first one.
Bloodthirsty Pigs / Cujo the pig
At my very first gig with Random Ninjas, we played at a Vegan festival at a happy farm north of LA. The farm was happy, but not every pig was. One pig in particular seemed to be thirsting for the blood of starving musicians – or thirsting for a taste of their sound equipment. Cujo the pig was skulking in silence until he saw the Mesa Boogie amp being wheeled along his turf….*insert Jaws music*…he eyed the amp suspiciously, until the moment came….to POUNCE!
But Cujo’s aggression was deep seated. As the middle child, he suffered from a severe inferiority complex coupled with obsessive compulsive behavior (jumping in the mud pit 10x a day). They tried behavioral therapy, restricted diets, etc. During this latest episode, Cujo’s doctors were trying different anti-anxiety and anti-depressants to help control his mud obsession, which unfortunately had the side effect of aggressive behavior. Cujo now is trying to control his anger and compulsion with meditation and Pilates.
Just a few musings – Soozanna
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